Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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