we're blogging at a bar
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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