"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
