All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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