My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
