I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
