Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The adults are the big ones right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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