you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think my moral compass just broke
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
