I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
