New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
