I'm really into asian looking animals
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The air was thick with penises
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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