Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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