I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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