if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
