i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just found puke in my bra..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
