i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
