I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
