I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
