Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
