She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize