so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You ate ashes out of my bong
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