we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
