sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
