u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
