i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Green mimosas i think yes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm at about main and main street
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
