There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize