I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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