Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
