I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
