dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
