I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
