high people should be assigned attendants
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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