U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
