wanna go halves on a baby?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
