i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
