I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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