Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
