i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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