Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
