my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
