i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
