So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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