People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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