"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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