cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Panties = found
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