God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
