apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
