end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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