I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
