tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
