So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
