Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
