Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
