The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
