I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
