I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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