he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we're making bets on your personal life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
