You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize