I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
