somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
