Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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