I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
