everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
